Category Archives: Listing

Lodge and in charge

Posted by Elizabeth in Beach, Daily, Listing, Random Shit, Totally normal, WTF?

I made a sudden decision tonight to replace all our ceilings with bead board, or at least some tobacco barn slats that I feel sure we have leftover from the farm project. I figure it’s super easy: sand that popcorny shit, slap a few boards up, have fun with the nail gun and BAM! Ceiling city. Maybe I can do that when I’m off on Friday.

I also made a sudden discovery tonight: I LIKE CAMPING. I’m not sure that roughing it can be defined in only one way, so I’m going to define it MY way: camping is, not sleeping in your own bed, it’s being able to see stars/moon/sun/streetlights from your bed, and it’s taking enough food into that sleeping area, wherever it may be, that you don’t rely on trail mix and melted snow if you get lost. BURGERS, lost people, PORK CHOPS. As some of us may recall from childhood, camping was a fort in the backyard. As adults, I say we bring back the Living Room Fort. We bring it back with pillows, blankets, those old refrigerator boxes, laundry baskets, step stools, THE WHOLE SHEBANG.

As if these weren’t already good enough ideas, I bombarded my mind with extra ideas it needs. (It always needs extra ideas.) My ideas are as follows:

  1. Make a new friend everyday. Now admittedly, some of us don’t run into a lot of people throughout the day and that can make this task seem daunting. A new friend can be the Canada goose who poos on your sidewalk. Your new friend can be the multi-pierced fellow at the grocery store who wants to touch your produce. It doesn’t matter, y’all. You’re just looking to make ONE new friend. Pick an interesting one.
  2. Be glad for one thing everyday. Today, I am glad that the people who live behind us in the weird house with the sketchy brown fence didn’t get hurt during what appeared to be, at the time, an electrical fire. Although, she’s a former art teacher, so BB and I concocted some fun, what-if stories that we’ll just share at a later date. (What if she was burning some kind of giant plastic bleach jug for an “art” project and then her family got home and was all “MOM! That’s bleach and FIRE!” And she’s all “No, kids. This is art.”)
  3. Oh, my other idea. This one rocks so steady, I can’t even stand it. Here it is, are you ready?

That’s right, y’all. THROWBACK VINTAGE ’60s style MOTOR-FUCKING-LODGE! My SIL stayed for a night this weekend and absolutely fell in love with it. The little guy at the front desk flips open the book to see if there are rooms available. And if there are rooms, he will hand you a real key with a giant plastic number as he pencils in your reservation. WITH A PENCIL. And dogs are allowed and even encouraged. And I just can’t say with any certainty that it will be the finest place I ever stay in, BUT! I think we might try it Brady style. Load up the wagon, stock the kitchenette, bring our beach towels and get the sheets sandy. I mean, hello…it’s the ATLANTIS LODGE.

Bitches.

Papa’s got a brand new bag

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Anxiety, Beach, Family, Good Stuff, Listing, Muse, Rejoicing, Totally normal

I’ve been avoiding the blog for a little while because there’s been so much going on I haven’t known where to start. Maybe I’ll start by making a list, as I do love a list better than just about anything.

1.       Brian got laid off.

2.       Brian was home for a really, really long time.

3.       I was the world’s greatest cheerleader, resume-writer and job coach. For free.

4.       I was the world’s greatest church-goer, two whole weeks in a row.

5.       Brian got hired!

6.       Brian’s first day at work was yesterday!

So week before last Brian was running around dropping his resume off anywhere that had an open door, and he decided to take one by his pre-Pepsi company just for the hell of it. Before he could get halfway home, the vice-president called him in for an interview! Can you believe it! Neither can I! Neither can he!

Last Wednesday he interviewed for a similar position as to what he did for Pepsi and they hired him ON THE SPOT. On the spot! For a job! And the sweetest deal of all is that this job is Monday through Friday. Not once in the 7 years we’ve been married has he had the same schedule as I have. We’ve been ships passing through the night, running into each other in the kitchen and occasionally one of us sees the other by sifting through laundry, searching for familiar clothes.

The last few weeks have been the best of our married lives. It’s no secret to our friends that we’ve gone through a bit of a…rough patch over the past few months. In fact, it was super rough. Like, SANDPAPER rough. And yet – YET! – he loses his job and we become blissfully happy. It’s like all the negativity of the world, all the things that beat us down over and over and over had magically disappeared. Brian’s face softened and he slept better. We laughed at stuff and marveled because we forgot what laughing sounds like.

And so this past weekend I surprised him with an overnight trip to the beach. It was amazing timing because North Carolina had its first 70-degree weather of the year and we honest-to-goodness took our beach chairs out on the sand. We snuggled in with books and short-sleeved shirts, and we walked for a little while with our toes in the water. (Which was frigid. We are obviously stupid.) We had a nice peaceful dinner, walked on the beach at night under a weird orangey moon and we slept in. We took naps and we laughed some more, because it kind of sounded good.

Now I realize all of this might come off as a little, I don’t know, cheesy maybe. And that’s true. But I’ve found myself in a new quandary, Internet, and here’s where I need your help.

For the last few years, Brian has been the primary housekeeper because he was home ALL THE TIME. He had like, a gajillion days off and so the cleaning fell on him. Now that we’re back on the same schedule, we have to rework our chore chart a little. I want there to be less clutter, obviously, but for right now I just feel like we need to spring clean for a fresh start.

I’m doing one room at the time, starting tonight with our bathroom. I’ll tackle the other stuff later. What are your best cleaning tips? What makes the whole job easier for you? I might just sweeten the comment pot with a little prize for the one cleaning tip that saves my life. YOU NEVER KNOW.

The more you know…

Posted by Elizabeth in Listing, Lucille & Charles, Muse, Random Shit, Totally normal

NBC

Like an afterschool special, I am here FOR YOU. A community service, if you will. A fount of good information to help you be your best you.  So today, I ask the question:

Did you know?

1.       That the reason aluminum is the main ingredient in deodorant is because that’s what keeps you from stinking? And that “all-natural, aluminum-free” deodorant is code for makes-you-stink?

2.       That giant glue traps designed to catch roaches can stick to a cat’s hind end?

3.       That a combination of scissors, Palmolive and Wesson oil can’t get that kind of glue off?

4.       That my vet will bathe a cat for only $20?

5.       That Facebook might be just the thing to get a man out of his dark, jobless depression?

6.       That while the rest of the country is buried in ice and snow, North Carolina has 70 degree weather with howling winds and eerie pink skies?

7.       That Doritos, Gatorade, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Quaker and everything in your pantry is a PepsiCo product?

8.       That trying to ban PepsiCo products is next to impossible?

9.       That Coke Zero is the best-tasting thing since Coke?

10.   That my world is upside down?

Window shopping

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Daily, Good Stuff, Listing, Shopping

Since Friday, our house has been alternately a den of black-cloudy despair and a cheerfest of positivity and opportunity. All of it’s bullshit, so I’ve decided to do some online shopping.

Well, window shopping. We ARE getting ready to be poor, after all.

I decided I was in the market for a new wallet, because who isn’t? I want something from Etsy and I want it to be small enough that I physically can’t cram a lot of crap into it. I’m trying to be of the mindset that smaller is better because smaller can’t be stuffed with 4,000 receipts or 20 tubes of lipgloss or my fat ass. These are the facts.

Here’s what I found:

1. Batwa Wallet in Flower Child

This does not at all fit my criteria but it’s insanely cute.

2. Handmade Classics Skinny Wallet in Cherry Blossom

No change purse, but it does check off the “tiny” box.

3. More Warped Little Wallet in Toto

I love this one – LOVE IT – but I’m waffling. Might be too precious to survive my bag.

4. Knotted Nest Billfold

Again, no change purse, but I love the geometric patterns and the slim style.

5. Marty May Whale Wallet in Blue and Cream

By far my favorite and the front runner. No change purse, no zipper, no frills but LOOK AT THE WHALE.

A Little Luxe for Santa

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Daily, Good Stuff, Listing, Shopping

All my blogger friends are compiling the most fabulous gift guides for the holidays, and I would be remiss if I didn’t jump into the fray. The holidays are hectic – I dare anyone to argue that point – and it’s important to remember yourself on your gift list. Selfish? Not in the least. Actually, it’s rather brilliant for you to buy for you because you’re guaranteed to get what you ultimately want.

And isn’t that what it’s all about, after all? Of course it isn’t, but it’s fun to consider the possibility.

  1. Red high heels. I just bought a similar suede pair from H&M and I am drooling over them until I have an occasion to show them off. Christmas is the perfect opportunity to exhibit your semi-wild side way down there on your feet.
  2. Jo Malone Body Crème. So luscious I would almost be afraid to use it. Almost.
  3. Land’s End Cotton Modal Nightgown. Now. There’s nothing about this nightgown that says “sexy” or “check me out, Tiger Woods” or “I am 22 and HOT,” but cotton modal is – to me – one of the softest, most comfortable fabrics around. For actual sleeping, you can’t beat this with a stick. Plus, hello? It’s $39.50.
  4. Diane von Furstenburg Leather Kindle Case. J’adore my Kindle in every way. What I don’t have is a lovely case to protect it from all the wine glasses at my book club.
  5. Haus Interior Navy Zig Zag Throw. Think of the naps you could take all wrapped up in this thing. Purr.
  6. Marc Jacobs Lola Solid Perfume Ring. Y’all, this is the cutest thing ever. Perfume IN A RING. It’s so genius and it’s pretty. This won’t be in my stocking, but it should be.
  7. Williams-Sonoma Croissants. Show me a girl who doesn’t love a croissant and I’ll show you a liar. Bake these, sit down with some coffee and that talk show with Leah Remini and never tell a soul.
  8. Hotel Guanahani. I never said this list was realistic. It’s probably cold where you are, and where I am there’s snow on the ground, but in St. Bart’s there’s this.