Category Archives: Rejoicing

Papa’s got a brand new bag

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Anxiety, Beach, Family, Good Stuff, Listing, Muse, Rejoicing, Totally normal

I’ve been avoiding the blog for a little while because there’s been so much going on I haven’t known where to start. Maybe I’ll start by making a list, as I do love a list better than just about anything.

1.       Brian got laid off.

2.       Brian was home for a really, really long time.

3.       I was the world’s greatest cheerleader, resume-writer and job coach. For free.

4.       I was the world’s greatest church-goer, two whole weeks in a row.

5.       Brian got hired!

6.       Brian’s first day at work was yesterday!

So week before last Brian was running around dropping his resume off anywhere that had an open door, and he decided to take one by his pre-Pepsi company just for the hell of it. Before he could get halfway home, the vice-president called him in for an interview! Can you believe it! Neither can I! Neither can he!

Last Wednesday he interviewed for a similar position as to what he did for Pepsi and they hired him ON THE SPOT. On the spot! For a job! And the sweetest deal of all is that this job is Monday through Friday. Not once in the 7 years we’ve been married has he had the same schedule as I have. We’ve been ships passing through the night, running into each other in the kitchen and occasionally one of us sees the other by sifting through laundry, searching for familiar clothes.

The last few weeks have been the best of our married lives. It’s no secret to our friends that we’ve gone through a bit of a…rough patch over the past few months. In fact, it was super rough. Like, SANDPAPER rough. And yet – YET! – he loses his job and we become blissfully happy. It’s like all the negativity of the world, all the things that beat us down over and over and over had magically disappeared. Brian’s face softened and he slept better. We laughed at stuff and marveled because we forgot what laughing sounds like.

And so this past weekend I surprised him with an overnight trip to the beach. It was amazing timing because North Carolina had its first 70-degree weather of the year and we honest-to-goodness took our beach chairs out on the sand. We snuggled in with books and short-sleeved shirts, and we walked for a little while with our toes in the water. (Which was frigid. We are obviously stupid.) We had a nice peaceful dinner, walked on the beach at night under a weird orangey moon and we slept in. We took naps and we laughed some more, because it kind of sounded good.

Now I realize all of this might come off as a little, I don’t know, cheesy maybe. And that’s true. But I’ve found myself in a new quandary, Internet, and here’s where I need your help.

For the last few years, Brian has been the primary housekeeper because he was home ALL THE TIME. He had like, a gajillion days off and so the cleaning fell on him. Now that we’re back on the same schedule, we have to rework our chore chart a little. I want there to be less clutter, obviously, but for right now I just feel like we need to spring clean for a fresh start.

I’m doing one room at the time, starting tonight with our bathroom. I’ll tackle the other stuff later. What are your best cleaning tips? What makes the whole job easier for you? I might just sweeten the comment pot with a little prize for the one cleaning tip that saves my life. YOU NEVER KNOW.

It’s kind to be kind

Posted by Elizabeth in Good Stuff, Muse, Rejoicing

I’ve been trying to come up with some good ideas for posting lately, and I haven’t been able to come up with much. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve got PLENTY of stuff to write about, but none of it’s appropriate to share here. Sorry.

So instead I was going to talk about kindness; the kind of kindness people have shown me over the last year. This was to be a thank-you letter of sorts, but mostly a reminder to myself that other people are trying to lead me by example. I’m still working on my following skills, you see.

And then I remembered that there are so many instances of kindness in my life this past year that I simply can’t recount them all.

There are the friends who made me laugh, held me while I cried and sent me cheerful cards and emails while I worked to overcome what ails me.

There are the other bloggers and Twitter friends who occupied my dangerously idle mind with their quips and questions. I love them for that.

There are the students who believe deep down that I am a kind, loving person myself – even when I don’t think it’s true. Their bright, shiny faces annoyed the hell out of me half the time, but that was before I realized what treasures they are.

Then there’s my sweet husband, who didn’t allow himself to feel much of anything out loud while I cried and wrung my hands in fear for months and months. He let me rearrange the entire house so I could play business, and he agreed to go along with every outlandish idea I’ve had since last Christmas.

Do you see what I’m saying? I can’t possibly list everything done for me here, because the people in my life are too wonderful to fathom. I don’t know how or in what way to thank them. I wish every one of you peace, joy and love this holiday season, no matter what you celebrate. I feel those things now and I hope you are able to do the same.

Etsy’s Magillie does a Giveaway!

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Good Stuff, Rejoicing, Shopping

Magillie

Do you all know my fantastic friend Jackie? She is a lovely girl from Virginia, lucky enough to be my college classmate (I KNOW! SOMEONE GIVE HER A MEDAL!) and she is now the mother of two adorable children and one AH-MAZING Etsy store. Her jewelry is delicate without being dainty, sweet without being childish and trendy without being a fad. In other words, it’s beautiful, it’s handmade and YOU could win your very own Magillie piece!

Magillie's Lemon and Currant Earrings - just an example of some of her artistic jewelry

Here are the contest rules:

1. It couldn’t be easier. Just stop by Half Baked, Twice as Good between now and Friday and comment. You can comment anywhere and on anything you like. It doesn’t even have to be nice! Although if it’s ugly, I may have to give you The Stink Eye. The point is, you get a chance to win for each comment you leave here.

2. At the end of the week, the winner will be randomly selected from the week’s commentariat and will receive a gorgeous piece of Magillie jewelry.

Happy commenting and best of luck!

Something new

Posted by Elizabeth in Anxiety, Daily, Good Stuff, Muse, Random Shit, Rejoicing, Totally normal, WTF?

Remember back in the day, when I would write here? Yeah, me neither. So I got a new job…and it’s actually a good one. I’m still doing a lot of what I was doing, but in a different place and with different people. And woo, y’all, the people. Stories for a different day.

This week has been busy but slow, in that I haven’t had appointments back to back for 8 hours, but I have had people literally in my office from sunup to sundown. Which is great, but I don’t feel settled, mainly because I feel as though I’m sharing a square space with two other people.  I just noticed that this isn’t making any sense at all. I’m okay with that.

People keep calling and tweeting and Facebook messaging me – where the hell did your blog go? Why aren’t you writing? Where’s the complainy Elizabeth we all know and love? She’s right here, Internet, fret not. She’s looking out a window right now, staring at a fountain and the wind and people walking by. It’s twice as distracting as it sounds. I think mostly I’m trying to forget that I used to be part of this hierarchy, with very apparent, defined roles, and now I’m in this weird limbo, where no one seems in charge and no one seems bothered that I’m not sure what I’m doing here. I can’t decide if I have newfound autonomy, or if I’ve just jumped into the deep end of some pool of work I don’t know how to do.

Bizarre.

Anyway, otherwise I’ve been getting over some version of a summer flu thing, which knocked me on my ass for a couple of weeks, and I turned 32. I’ve never felt older than I do now, which makes sense on the one hand, but on the other it doesn’t. I shouldn’t feel a year older, should I? Birthdays should be just another day on the calendar year, somehow. But I woke up that Wednesday and honestly felt…older. My bones felt creakier and my attitude felt crankier and my wrinkles seemed deeper.

I’ve celebrated other birthdays, of course, with my family and friends. August and September are big birthday months in my circle of people. No one else looks older, or has weird wrinkly things hanging off their face though. And the invitation business is going, but I haven’t changed my business disorganization habits. SHOCKING. I still feel pulled in 21 directions at once, but this year I’m okay. I am okay. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to say that. I’m proud of myself, kittens.

The biggest change, though, is this job. Winding up things at my old one, saying goodbye to people – even though I haven’t gone far – was hard. I tried very hard not to get upset or anxious, and instead I think came off as a little insensitive and unconcerned, which I totally wasn’t. But, as one of my friends said earlier today, I’m changing my name to Jefferson and moving on up. I didn’t know when all this change would happen, because I always wondered if I was actually capable of it. Would I ever be able to impress someone again? Would I ever find that self-confidence I needed – enough to show other people that I am capable of more? Always more?

October 6th will be one year to the day since the madness happened. It will be kind of a special day for me, because I will physically be able to look back and see my progress. I will be able to pinpoint a day on the calendar and say to myself, You made it, kid. You didn’t fuck up as much as you thought.

And at the end of the day, telling yourself you didn’t fuck it all up is really worth all the new jobs in the world.

Now you see me, now you don’t

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Anxiety, Daily, Good Stuff, Muse, Rejoicing, Totally normal, WTF?

I don’t know how it happened. One day I was blogging furiously, scribbling out all my droll thoughts and my delicately-flowered feelings and wondering if my readers would ever multiply (turns out, they wouldn’t). The next day I hid behind a corner and waited for my blog to walk by without noticing me. And the day after that, I ran around another corner and listened for its footsteps, loud and clear, and hid again. It got easier to hide from Half Baked, Twice as Good after that, though it’s not immediately clear why I felt the need to do so. I felt beholden, contracted, obligated to be the patient while you, Internet, were my therapists. I started another blog, I vowed to diligently write there, too. I took to Twitter and updated my most mundane activities, trying to build followers and market myself. For what, really? For what?

The Greek word for "calm." If I were a tattoo-getting kind of girl, this would be on my wrist.

One day not too long ago, I woke up and didn’t have to write. I didn’t have to flex that muscle and use that part of my brain and it was…refreshing. It was like a little weight was lifted off my shoulders and I had freed myself from the chains of responsibility. Weeks and weeks later, I have realized that the giant steel ball of responsibility chained to my ankle was put there by none other than me. My Lohan-esque SCRAM bracelet is dinging and turning red because it detects a lack of focus and a lack of stick-to-it-iveness that is no one else’s doing but mine. On a related note, or maybe not, I feel great. My anxiety has leveled off, with little spikes now and then, to the point that I have been doing things I couldn’t have imagined a year ago. I took two road trips alone. I put myself in vulnerable (and crowded) situations and didn’t run. I discovered meditation and am a very struggling beginner. But I haven’t been writing. I have been calm.

Today I went to lunch for a co-worker’s birthday. In the middle of our meal, a huge crowd of mothers with young children came in, sweaty and exhausted from the heat and from pushing strollers laden with hungry, crying babies, overflowing diaper bags and shopping bags from the outlet mall. They looked pooped and they sounded weary, but each mom that walked in looked around for a familiar face and lit up when she saw her friends. They set up high chairs for each other, order meals for the table and offered to hold babies while their friends took a break. The first thought that came to my mind was that THIS! this must be a group of mommybloggers! I recognize that camaraderie! I see that commiserating look that says, If I could just reach my iPhone I’d be tweeting the hell out of this right now! And I felt a little pang of homesickness, like the first night away from camp. I remembered suddenly that I had let go of the apronstrings of my blog and I had flown solo, if just for a little while.

It’s after lunch now, and I’m writing again.

I have some things to tell you, Internet. My business is – much to my surprise – going swimmingly. I have loyal friends and co-workers who are now armed with much more stationery than they’ll probably ever need. I am hosting an open house next weekend to drum up more business, and I actually have a little bit of inventory to show off.

Tomorrow I will interview for a job that I didn’t know I wanted. It pays more, obviously a bonus, but it’s a different focus than where I’ve been for the last eight years, and it might be just the thing I need.

After my interview I’ll be flying out to Colorado to be at the wedding of one of my best friends from college. I’ll see some old gal pals, meet a handsome Italian groom and spend a few days with my husband, who has recently become a stranger with all the new things going on.

It feels good to come out of the shadows and write again, and I’ve missed hearing from you all. I have refrained from commenting on other people’s blogs, and I’m not sure that I’m included anymore (was I ever?) in the group of cool kids that has continued to grow and build. It may not seem like much of a blip on your radar to have an empty, moldy space rotting in your Google reader, but actually Internet, I’ve been there all along.

You just couldn’t see me.