Category Archives: Good Stuff

Songs for a Road Trip

Posted by Elizabeth in Good Stuff, Lamenting, Muse, Random Shit

I love nights that come together perfectly. Friends and food and wine that’s good but cheap. Last night we had a birthday party for our good friend and after supper, we sat outside with a few smokes, the last of the wine and nothing but stars. After a day of thunderstorms the sky suddenly cleared. The humidity had waned for a little while and we could look up and see planets and stars. The only thing missing was some good music and all 3 of us whipped out our phones to a) be cool and b) to get some tunes. Funny how that worked out, except it didn’t because everyone’s programs were “buffering” and then Pandora couldn’t get a connection and the antenna was too short on the real live plug-in radio we had.

Tonight I started listening to 8 Track (if you don’t have that app, download it immediately), and it reminded me of the days when we would make tapes FOR things. And give them Titles of Importance. My favorite tapes of all time are the ones other people made for me in high school, when we were digging music that was a little off the beaten path – this was way before “hipster” and “indie” entered our vocabulary.

I remember though, in college, sitting on the carpet in Josie’s room, smoking Camels and listening to her music, which was far less mainstream than what I listened to. Her bands were super sharp and edgy and I felt very cool listening to them. She made me a CD later on as a Christmas gift and did that for several years after for friends. I drank a lot of Bud Light in that room.

Lindsey and I loved fierce chick singers and we had this great ritual for every time we crossed the state line back into NC: light a Marlboro, honk the horn and turn on the Indigo Girls because we could harmonize. We harmonized the SHIT out of the whole Indians & Saints album, over and over.

Then when Tarrah cleaned on Sundays she would bust out the good tunes on the Top 40 station. She would bring her ironing into my room, where I was drinking cold beer in the afternoon and watching Lifetime movies. I did her ironing and then would head next door to rock out to the same shit everyone else was listening to. This was all until that night we ate Taco Bell drive through – for me the first time ever – and we sang Jo Dee Messina. Tarrah was then my country girl.

And Kristen used to play “Life in a Northern Town” on repeat in her room. Mostly it was to drown out the reminder of her crazy ass roommate and my CERTIFIABLE roommates. It totally worked. I hummed that song forever on my walks to and from the metro station.

Is there even that kind of shit anymore? Does anyone make CDs or MP3 lists or whatever FOR anyone anymore? Do they Title them with the Importance of the songs contained within?

I fucking doubt it.

Kids these days.

140 Characters of Hilarity

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Good Stuff

My feelings about Twitter are crystal clear, but only if you follow me there. I post all the whole day long YES I DO about everything from spotting geese outside my window to The Bachelor, and all the stuff in the middle of that, like Man, it’s time for a nap or WHO THE FUCK STOLE MY OREOS?

I read someone else’s tweet the other day about their annoyance with people who overshare. Like, their followers know the minute someone puts on real pants for the day (which, hello, pants? OVERRATED), or that they chose to switch from American Idol to Criminal Minds and OMG THE DECISIONS WE HAVE TO MAKE. The annoyed fellow felt like not every moment of the daily grind should be tweeted. How many times you peed yesterday is, contrary to popular belief, an unnecessary bit of information.

For me, Twitter is just plain hilarious. The beauty of it is that people can’t write a diatribe about their children’s poo like they can on Facebook (yeah, you know who you are, and it’s GROSS). You have only so many characters you can exploit to get your point across and if you’re not careful or witty, you lose people and no one cares whether you just met James Franco in a coffee shop or you wrecked your Audi on an overpass in a blizzard. Twitter just won’t let you get away with all the words. It won’t let you post paragraph after paragraph about your Tetris score. Twitter won’t send you messages about High School Classmates! Take this Cool Quiz now! Please send 4 friends a strawberry plant in Farmville! And for that, Twitter, millions of people thank you.

I both use AND abuse Twitter. I’ve drunk-tweeted, Ambien-tweeted, mean-tweeted (see Dooce hair debacle of April 2011) but I’ve also hit a few strides here and there where I am ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL to the point that I freely brag about it.

I’ve “given up” Facebook for Lent, which is just a lame attempt to stop stalking people and staring at their babies’ pictures to see if they look like them. (Technically I ought to be doing something for Lent, like something good for the planet, as Cher would say. And I already ate fries, so I can’t give those up, and I drank a Diet Dew AND I hit the snooze button AND I haven’t exercised. Facebook is all that’s left.) Immediately I got emails and DM’s asking if I was giving up Twitter too.

HELL NAW. Twitter is magical and love and light and all that shit. And if I met Jack Dorsey tomorrow, I would kiss that bespectacled face and declare him Hero of All Social Media Everywhere Ever.

On the regular

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Daily, Family, Good Stuff, Totally normal

Brian proposed to me 9 years ago today. I point this out because that’s the only time he actually sent me flowers at work, and I’m sure they were the most expensive tulips in the history of ever, because really? Florist flowers on Valentine’s Day? DUMB. They were pretty, though.

There was a little note attached that said “Can’t wait to see you tonight.” I point THIS out because he told me when he was going to propose (an accident) and this afforded me time to get a new outfit and a manicure. Brian’s not so good at keeping the secrets.

But here we are, lots of years later, and Kroger tulips in cellophane or a Solo cup surely will appear on the kitchen table about 6:30 tonight. Dinner out? No. Balloons that say something cheesy and ridiculous? God, I hope not.

We’re not shiny or fancy; we’re just two people who get along most of the time, when we remember to count our blessings.

Caution: Accent vlog. View at your own risk.

Posted by Elizabeth in Anxiety, Daily, Good Stuff, Lamenting, Random Shit, WTF?

This is the accent vlog that’s going around amongst those Blatherers that leave for Austin next weekend. I did it, I’m not especially proud of it since it’s my first foray into the world of the webcam and I’m doing this weird stage whisper thing because Brian’s asleep. And…full disclosure: I had already taken my Ambien before I started this which accounts for the slightly groggy, Valley Girl-esque vibe. Although upon further review, this is boring as ALL HELL. I feel so much sorrier for the students in my classes now. Plus, the video is super grainy and why? I’ll be damned if I know. I gotta say: watching yourself on camera is JUST SO DISTURBING.

The notes for what I’m talking about are below. Apparently I forgot the part where I’m supposed to talk about where I’m from and why I pronounce things the way I do. I’m from right outside of Raleigh, NC, have lived in North Carolina mostly all my life, and that accounts for everything that comes out of my mouth, I’m afraid.

Say the following words:
Aunt, route, wash, oil, theatre, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught
And answer these questions:
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that curls into a ball when you touch it?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?

Here goes. Maybe just laugh quietly to yourself, ok?

How to look pretty this fall

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Good Stuff, Listing, Muse, Shopping

Ed. Note: The following guest post is generously provided by my favorite fashionista, Kathy. Be nice to her; she’s going to make you fabulous for fall.

Hello! I am Elizabeth’s friend Kathy. I have known Elizabeth since she began a career as a news media professional, a career she wisely ditched in favor of having a life and a reasonable amount of money. Congrats to Elizabeth for figuring this out only nine years before I did! My main problem with her these days is that I don’t see her nearly enough.

So, you know how Elizabeth comes here and opens up her heart and mind to us, so that we might feel less alone in our own struggles and learn to understand and accept each other as we are–as friends, and as brothers and sisters on this crazy spinning ball we call The Earth?

Well, I like outfits! It’s still pretty hot here in Raleigh all the time, and yet, all I can think about is Outfits in The Time of the Colored Leaves.

I am now going to tell you what to wear. Most of this stuff you can get at the mall. Get on email lists and stores will send you coupons.

My current biggest fear on the planet is what is going to happen to fashion when “Mad Men” grooves on into those disgusting Seventies, because I have been so happy for the styles of the Sixties Hitchcock blondes to return to the stores.

That means Dress like the Sixties for fall i.e. Kim Novak, Betty Draper, and fat Twiggy.  Because, come on, no one’s as skinny as real Twiggy. Some of us are downright Ziggy.

Nevertheless, I will wear an orange miniskirt this year and you will just have to shut it on up if you don’t like it. Yes, I’m telling everyone to find and wear an orange skirt. Or royal blue. Or red. Just make it a bold color, in a simple shape, with good structure. I got mine at Ann Taylor, but The Limited, Nordstrom and J. Crew are doing similar good things.

Now, an above-knee, solid-color skirt is no great risk. A-line, full, pencil or whatever are good too. If you’ve got the height to pull off that just-above-the-calf thing, go nuts.

Here’s where I’m going to challenge you. Are you sitting down? You are? Well then stand up, stand up (joke courtesy of Tom Scharpling.)

Wear that skirt with a top in a non-matching, solid, bold color. Put the orange skirt with a pink top! Your Kelly green pencil needs a royal blue sweater! Yellow skirt? Teal that!

It’s called color-blocking folks, and it’s gonna look adorable. Trust me! You can even do it in less-bold colors, such as gray and black, and it still counts as color-blocking. Just keep the shapes simple and avoid detail or adornment—that goes for accessories, too.

Okay, if that’s too loco for you, might I interest you in some animal prints of which I have previously not preferred? Sixties You (AKA your better self) practically requires it. Sweaters and shoes are a good entrée into this realm.

One lovely animal pattern can be found on my favorite item of the whole fall so far, J. Crew’s Tippi sweater, no doubt inspired by Hitchcock blonde Tippi Hedren. It’s perfect. The neckline hits your collarbone at just the right spot, the sleeves are my favorite length—bracelet—and it comes in an array of gorgeous colors and is a nice lightweight merino that’s not too warm but warm enough. It’s America’s greatest sweater.

J.Crew's Tippi Sweater in Leopard

Pantyhose! Look, I know only our mom’s friends wear pantyhose at the moment, but if you’re gonna go ladylike, they work. And, they hold you in place nicely under all those pencil skirts. You love tights, don’t you? It’s really not that big of a leap. Remember how polished and put-together it used to make you feel back when you put them on in the Nineties? It still works, trust me.

For further guidance, I recommend you visit the Lady Chic Shop on Neiman Marcus’ website. Please note that all the models are wearing black pantyhose.

You know how they say go big, or go home, and it’s really dorky? Well, I’m telling you to go big and then go OUT… on the town or something? Go with large jeweled stud earrings, track down a vintage brooch or two (I’m particularly obsessed with starbursts—for earrings, cocktail rings, and a mirror for my upstairs hallway) and a short string of pearls or beads in a single or double strand. Grab a frame bag, tie it with a simple scarf in maybe a deco-looking geometric pattern or a houndstooth.

So, now you’re dressed and you look good. Here’s where I leave you.