Category Archives: Addiction to

I went down to the river to pray

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to

Every day I cross the river that bisected our lives for so many years. Tonight, though, I cry tonight for the relationships and friendships that have fallen away. I have loved so many in my life, so hard and with a fervor that is rarely reciprocated. When I pray silently at night, I ask for strength and wisdom. I ask God to allow me to see things through others’ eyes, so that I may learn how to look at the world in a completely different way.

Tonight I prayed that you both were here, holding the other end of the telephone, whispering the words I so need to hear. I long for the time when I could hold the hands of either of you – so strong with age  – and feel the skin that is the history of my skin.

The tears running down my cheeks tonight are stained with ink and shimmer, in dark contrast to the prayerful visions I have of the peaceful river dividing us. My heart is full with memories of so much pure unconditional love. Unless one day I have a child, I imagine few if any of those moments will return.

Distances – rivers, canyons, deserts, mountains  – all separate me from ones I love dearly, that I ache to see when I feel like this. When my self-paranoia rises like a phoenix and towers over my mundane responsibilities, I need to touch the hand that feels familiar to me. I want to look into the eyes that really really know me. And most of all I want to know that the arms that hold me are arms that will always love me. They will love my flaws, my rambling stories and my dirty kitchen.

Every season, every equinox, spurs on the promise of new life. Each of us has made it across a tributary to another side of our river. New seasons bring new opportunities to love again, to look at love in a different light. We have a chance to start all over, this time with the crunch of leaves or chill in the air.

This time with the promise of unconditional love.

How to look pretty this fall

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Good Stuff, Listing, Muse, Shopping

Ed. Note: The following guest post is generously provided by my favorite fashionista, Kathy. Be nice to her; she’s going to make you fabulous for fall.

Hello! I am Elizabeth’s friend Kathy. I have known Elizabeth since she began a career as a news media professional, a career she wisely ditched in favor of having a life and a reasonable amount of money. Congrats to Elizabeth for figuring this out only nine years before I did! My main problem with her these days is that I don’t see her nearly enough.

So, you know how Elizabeth comes here and opens up her heart and mind to us, so that we might feel less alone in our own struggles and learn to understand and accept each other as we are–as friends, and as brothers and sisters on this crazy spinning ball we call The Earth?

Well, I like outfits! It’s still pretty hot here in Raleigh all the time, and yet, all I can think about is Outfits in The Time of the Colored Leaves.

I am now going to tell you what to wear. Most of this stuff you can get at the mall. Get on email lists and stores will send you coupons.

My current biggest fear on the planet is what is going to happen to fashion when “Mad Men” grooves on into those disgusting Seventies, because I have been so happy for the styles of the Sixties Hitchcock blondes to return to the stores.

That means Dress like the Sixties for fall i.e. Kim Novak, Betty Draper, and fat Twiggy.  Because, come on, no one’s as skinny as real Twiggy. Some of us are downright Ziggy.

Nevertheless, I will wear an orange miniskirt this year and you will just have to shut it on up if you don’t like it. Yes, I’m telling everyone to find and wear an orange skirt. Or royal blue. Or red. Just make it a bold color, in a simple shape, with good structure. I got mine at Ann Taylor, but The Limited, Nordstrom and J. Crew are doing similar good things.

Now, an above-knee, solid-color skirt is no great risk. A-line, full, pencil or whatever are good too. If you’ve got the height to pull off that just-above-the-calf thing, go nuts.

Here’s where I’m going to challenge you. Are you sitting down? You are? Well then stand up, stand up (joke courtesy of Tom Scharpling.)

Wear that skirt with a top in a non-matching, solid, bold color. Put the orange skirt with a pink top! Your Kelly green pencil needs a royal blue sweater! Yellow skirt? Teal that!

It’s called color-blocking folks, and it’s gonna look adorable. Trust me! You can even do it in less-bold colors, such as gray and black, and it still counts as color-blocking. Just keep the shapes simple and avoid detail or adornment—that goes for accessories, too.

Okay, if that’s too loco for you, might I interest you in some animal prints of which I have previously not preferred? Sixties You (AKA your better self) practically requires it. Sweaters and shoes are a good entrée into this realm.

One lovely animal pattern can be found on my favorite item of the whole fall so far, J. Crew’s Tippi sweater, no doubt inspired by Hitchcock blonde Tippi Hedren. It’s perfect. The neckline hits your collarbone at just the right spot, the sleeves are my favorite length—bracelet—and it comes in an array of gorgeous colors and is a nice lightweight merino that’s not too warm but warm enough. It’s America’s greatest sweater.

J.Crew's Tippi Sweater in Leopard

Pantyhose! Look, I know only our mom’s friends wear pantyhose at the moment, but if you’re gonna go ladylike, they work. And, they hold you in place nicely under all those pencil skirts. You love tights, don’t you? It’s really not that big of a leap. Remember how polished and put-together it used to make you feel back when you put them on in the Nineties? It still works, trust me.

For further guidance, I recommend you visit the Lady Chic Shop on Neiman Marcus’ website. Please note that all the models are wearing black pantyhose.

You know how they say go big, or go home, and it’s really dorky? Well, I’m telling you to go big and then go OUT… on the town or something? Go with large jeweled stud earrings, track down a vintage brooch or two (I’m particularly obsessed with starbursts—for earrings, cocktail rings, and a mirror for my upstairs hallway) and a short string of pearls or beads in a single or double strand. Grab a frame bag, tie it with a simple scarf in maybe a deco-looking geometric pattern or a houndstooth.

So, now you’re dressed and you look good. Here’s where I leave you.

Inspiration Boards

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Good Stuff, Listing, Muse, Random Shit

These last few weeks have been a doozy and this is the first week calm enough for me to rationally form thoughts. Not complicated ones, mind you, but thoughts. I did not really ever write all the things I wanted to write about “The Help” and all my childhood memories with Lula. The Internet is flooded with those and I don’t have anything truly unique to report, so perhaps I’ll save that for some other time when all this is gone and forgotten. (Incidentally, that movie is fantastic. Highly recommend.)

So in place of that I’ve been spending a lot of time looking around my house and being generally disgusted with everything in it. It’s kind of like how you look at your closet every season (or every Monday morning) and it’s full of crap but you hate it all and have nothing to wear. JUST LIKE THAT. Except it’s my house and I don’t want to invite people over because the furniture’s torn all to hell and the walls have nicks in the paint and old nasty grout makes us look like we don’t clean our bathrooms. (Which we do, I PROMISE. Every mofo Sunday afternoon. With Pinesol.)

I am not the crafty sort; the craftiest thing I think I’ve ever done was this jewelry hanger thing I made out of a picture frame and some old fabric. Today I discovered Sweet Paul and this amazing idea for repurposed jewelry. A couple of weeks ago I took some old gold to a local jeweler and got 59 whole dollars for it! The rest of the crap is all broken but not hideous, and now I have something to do with it. These magnets will hold stuff on my inspiration board.

What goes on it? Well, who the hell knows, y’all. That’s the beauty. I’m not so hot at the decorating, but I can copy the shit out of stuff. So that’s my new plan: collect pictures and fabric swatches and whatever else I can clutter up a board with and then COPY IT. All over my house. So that eventually it will look like this:

via Traditional Home

And this:

via Architectural Digest

And, of course, this:

via CasaSugar

HAHAHA. These are my dreams, y’all. NOT REALITY.

What do your inspiration boards look like? Do you have them? What goes on them?

A letter to you

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Anxiety, Daily, Good Stuff, Muse, Totally normal

First you need to know how much I love you. Next you need to know how much you are going to love yourself when all of this is over.

I am so proud of you for everything positive you’re doing in your life. I get lumpy crocodile tears when I think of the silent pain you must’ve been in for so long, and I wish I had known. But now, NOW!, you are doing yourself a solid and being your own best friend, which is a hard thing to do.

Growing up easy becomes sort of hard later on, doesn’t it? I wonder if you may have discovered this accidentally like I did. One day in college I stopped dead in my tracks, looked around and realized I wasn’t like everyone else. My hard part had yet to come, whereas their hard parts were over. Bastards.

I want to kiss your sweet cherub face and tell you to get a haircut. I want to hear you laugh because it makes me cackle. I want to ride in a car with you while you make me listen to some damn band I don’t know. Mostly I want to hug you and promise never to let go.When you pick up the phone to call me, you can bet I’m on the other end, dialing your number. (It usually happens just that way, doesn’t it? So weird.)

You are my new hero. You should probably know that I have a lot of heroes, but you’re new on the list and automatically you’re moving to the top! Congratulations! You and I are very similar though, so you should be warned of my steady non-hero status.

I love you and I want to hug your neck something fierce.

BlogHer At Home Giveaway

Posted by Elizabeth in Addiction to, Good Stuff, Shopping

I realize this is short notice, but Noteworthy Invitations, on my behalf, is one of the sponsors of BlogHer At Home ’11! This is the party for the non-party goers who are staying home from the BlogHer ’11 conference in San Diego this year. While everyone else is gallavanting through the Gaslamp Quarter with their swag bags, we’ll be here sweltering in the August heat BUT THAT’S OKAY Y’ALL. I am sad not to be there, yes, but not so sad that I can’t give away $50 in invitations/stationery/etc. tomorrow night!

Hit up Twitter at 9pm and follow along with the other at-home conference attendees.