Those weather people. So creative.
I’ll go ahead and warn you up front: this entire post is a long, drawn out complaint about the heat. Ready? Here goes:
1. It’s so hot that my ass sticks to everything.
2. It’s so hot that pipes can’t produce cold water.
3. It’s so hot that birds don’t have the energy to shit on my car.
4. It’s so hot that my deodorant doesn’t work anymore; I stink by 9am.
5. It’s so hot here that no one is at the pool.
6. It’s so hot that being naked won’t even cool you off.
7. It’s too hot to eat.
8. It’s too hot to sleep.
9. It’s almost too hot to type.
10. It’s so hot my cactus plants are dying.
11. It’s hot enough to melt my jewelry.
12. It’s so hot my coworker’s windshield exploded. True story.
I would write more, but frankly, it’s just too hot. And this is enough complaining for one afternoon. I wish you all a wonderful, cool weekend. I will be packing for my beach trip, going to see my shrink, having lunch with a friend, and sleeping in the freezer.
I used to visit family in Midland over the summers. My lighters would always explode in the car. Took me awhile to realize that I needed to a) quit leaving lighters in the car and, b) quit smoking.
I hope you get some relief soon. If we hadn’t been inundated with rain down here, we’d be experiencing the same thing. It’s really great when it HAS been raining, and then STOPS. All living things are being steamed to death. Yay.
I hope we get relief, too. Topped 100 this weekend with heat index of 112+. That is just not okay.
100 degrees? HA! That’s a cold snap here… I’m happy when it is below 110. Why did I move to Palm Springs?
But isn’t it a “dry heat” there? People always say the humidity makes it worse, but I don’t know if that’s true.
I know what you mean. My cactus plants are dying also. But I never learn and bought a huge one in a big urn today. Have a fun trip. Yes? oliveā„
Thanks, definitely hoping for a fun trip! Just to be on vacation is quite enough for me.